Your little girl is tying the knot. It’s a hugely exciting, emotional and potentially stressful event. You’ll want to do everything can do ensure the perfect day.
Because this is probably the first time you’re filling the important role of mother of the bride here are a few tips to help you get it spot on and be the support your daughter needs.
- Remember this is not your wedding
Chances are you planned your own wedding many years ago. Fashions have changed. Your daughter has her own sense of style and this is her turn. This realisation can be a particularly bitter pill to swallow if you’re picking up the bill but avoid the title of “momzilla” by allowing the bride to call the shots. Accept that this is her day from the outset. Give your opinion gently and only when asked.
- Initiate the talk about finances
Be up front about how much you will contribute, when and on what terms. Keep emotion out of it and stick the facts. Money talk can be awkward so don’t wait for the couple to approach you or leave them wondering just what their budget is. Broach the subject as soon as possible.
- Comparisons are odious
Avoid comparing this wedding to previous family weddings and especially your other children’s weddings. Each child deserves to plan their own big day according to their taste and personality. It doesn’t matter what anybody else did. Don’t make your child feel that they are coming in second.
- Get along with the in-laws
Whatever your feelings towards the groom’s parents, this wedding is happening. Be a better person and reach out to include them. Your futures are now inextricably linked so you are going to only make things hard for both yourself and your daughter if you don’t make every effort to be friendly.
- Don’t be critical
There is a lot of pressure on your not-so-little girl. She needs to know her mom has her back. Don’t be negative about choices she makes and especially don’t be critical of her dress or physical appearance – ever. Build her up and fill her with the confidence to shine on her big day.
- Make yourself available
Even if you are a distance away try to make yourself physically available for dress shopping if you are invited. Be ready at the end of the phone to assist when your daughter needs your input. Offer to take care of what you can but also be gracious if she already has it covered.
- Make way for the groom’s opinion
Your daughter is now half of a new team, one she has decided to commit the rest of her life to. Acknowledge that by allowing the groom his say and respecting it. It is after all his wedding too! Your relationship with your daughter will be all the better for it.
- Enjoy the big day
When the big day finally arrives your daughter will be affected by your mood. Be relaxed and present in every moment so that she can be too. Don’t try to take over, control everything or stress everyone out (service providers included). Be joyful and proud. This is one of life’s rare big, happy milestones. You can sit back and admire the amazing woman you raised.
Start being the perfect mother of the bride by suggesting the perfect venue. You can find out more about Hudson’s venue by downloading our information pack.
Read more of our “how to” wedding role guides